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Caseracer

by Caseracer

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1.
Trickle Down 01:06
I can't take it. Infatuation with idle contentment. And Orwellian warnings of what lies ahead. Infect the dialog. Watch it all fall. Suspend the conversation. Just fucking leave it alone. And let me be. Free speech or free enterprise? Poetic justice of a different kind. They're putting our heads into the ground on the grounds of disturbing the peace. And let the real criminals off of the hook. And that my friends is how the free market works.
2.
Sit me down, close the door, tell me everything I want to hear. Because recently it's felt like we're miles away from where we want to be. Can we pass the test of this small town? And I don't want to die, but right now I damn sure don't want to be alive. And if you ripped me open, you'd find an empty space where my guts used to reside. In spite of this, in spite of everything. We've all got something weighing on our backs. In spite of this, or maybe because of it. I'm tired of making up for what I lack. If I had a dollar for every time I told myself "I'll think about the things I say before they come spilling out of my mouth." I'd be richer, wouldn't be happier because my head isn't a good home for these shitty thoughts and worse ideas. From where we want to be, to where we think that we can do better than this, we can do better.
3.
Sitting in 30th St. Station thinking about my friends and their problems with addiction. I went to my first funeral last month and I'd break my neck just to make sure it's the last one. Saying goodbye was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. The past year has knocked me off my feet, these days I can hardly hear myself think. I considered you my brother, but just remember this: I won't bury you. Some days are better than others. The ones when I recall election signs and 202 dumpsters. Or when I met you when I was fourteen and you taught me how to think for myself So the next time that you say "I thought you'd be done with me," you'll be as right as can be. I won't be taking any more calls from unknown numbers, and ending this transmission before it starts, and then you can see who your real friends are.
4.
I was better off not knowing what became of you, or the things you do when no one is around. It seems as the weather's getting colder, my tired legs feel older, and I can't spent one more minute in this house. (I'm going outside because…) I don't want to be apart of this. So as I make my way home, and the streetlights all burn low, I tell myself that I'll never be put in that situation again. Because this fucked me up more than you'll ever know, to see what happens to an old friend when he takes the wrong way home.
5.
Some days I sit at the foot of the steps of my old house and think about everything because this doesn't seem like anyway to live. And I've seen so many come and go, and I just hoped you'd stick around, but now I know I was dumb enough to think you'd help me sort things out. These days, the grass grows a little greener, because all winter long it's been a constant shitstorm. And now I'm up to my neck in old mistakes, new friends, and constant heartbreak. Some things are better left unsaid, but you know me by now I can never let anything go. I've got all these memories of people that I barely know anymore. It makes me question how much that I know about myself. My only regret is that I'm still selling myself short, but these past couple years man I've been dying in a ditch somewhere. While I've been digging my way out, this shit keeps piling on and now I'm up to my neck in it. Why did we spend all of our time building foundations that we knew were sure to crack? I'll never know. For all of the friends we've lost and gained the only truth that remains is that I don't ever want to be alone.
6.
Two Yutes 02:21
All the language that I've learned couldn't spell out my frustration with the way things have always been done. It's business as usual; trading lives for capital. I'm sick of everyone with an empty heart and a one track mind. Am I supposed to be happy and content with the hand that I've been dealt? When sullen heads found shallow hearts, my throat closed up and I couldn't make a sound. And now we're digging our own graves, and sealing them with every student loan that puts us deeper in debt. I'm afraid that all that remains is a lifetime of instability. But these days, I just keep repeating to myself that our lives won't be defined by bottom lines. But I don't know how much longer I can hold my breath, that on the cutting floor we won't just be a dollar sign. And just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, it did. Spent most of my time with my head in my hands. I fought the urge to stay inside and feel sorry for myself, 'cause that's not any way to live.

about

11 minutes of pick slides.

credits

released February 2, 2012

Recorded at House of Boring Hit Factory North by Brian Maguire, November 12 and 13, 2011
Original Cover Photo by Amanda DeLuise

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about

Caseracer Wilmington, Delaware

We get together every now and then and play songs. DE/NJ.

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